Back After a Month...again.

Well, I'm back for my once a month post. There has been so much going on, it's no wonder I never get on here.

Mother's Day was a wreck. Not for my Mother's Day, but taking the kids to see my mother. My sister happened to show up at the same time. And while that's a really nice thing, it sucked for me and the kids. We brought a little gift, what we could afford, and some muffins and milk for breakfast. She didn't even say thanks. Nor did she tell me Happy Mother's Day. I was so hurt. I understand she was happy to see my sis and all, since she doesn't get to see her very often, but come on! I am the one who spends my little bit of gas money to come up there pretty much every week, often more than once a week. I am the one who brings my kids up to see her. Does my sister? NO. And yet she'd rather see her. Thanks mom, you're the greatest.

Then later in the evening, we went to see G's mom at work. Thought it would be a nice surprise since she had to work on Mother's Day. Ha. She didn't tell me Happy Mother's Day, either. Bitch.

I don't expect a gift. I don't even want one. My children are my Mother's Day gifts. Without them, I wouldn't be a mother. But at least SAY the phrase. I was so hurt by my M and MIL not even saying it. And it isn't as if they forgot what day it was, we were there to give them their gifts!

However, my own personal part of Mother's Day was wonderful. My children kept telling me Happy Mother's Day all day long. It was very sweet. After leaving my mother's, we stopped by G's work and had lunch together. The kids behaved rather well, which is always a nice addition to my day. Then after he was done with work, we hung out at home until we went to see MIL. Dinner was made for me and everything was peaceful and "family-ish".

The weekend of Mother's Day was really tough without the disaster that was M & MIL's Mother's Day. Around the corner from us, on Saturday, there was an apartment fire. We woke up to sirens at 8am. We looked out to see tons of police cars all the way up and down the street. We couldn't figure out what was going on until I opened the front door and saw the smoke. There was so much smoke. It was horrible. After some time, I knew someone had died because one ambulance left very shortly after they arrived and another took their time leaving. They only don't rush when there is no hope. A little while later, we heard a woman outside screaming. She had just come to the scene in a car. Later, we found out she had been at work. The police wouldn't let her closer than almost a block away. My heart was aching for her. I knew it was family of hers.

That evening, we found out just how terrible the news was: A child. A little 7 year old boy. The screaming woman was his mother. I have a 7yo myself. It turns out that this little boy was in my daughter's class last year. I had thought his name was familiar when I read it in the news.

I feel so badly for this family. I wish I could afford to do something for them. They need everything, but most of all, they need money. I can't help there.

In the midst of this sadness, Baby news seems sort of crass, but I'll still put something. We are 37 weeks today. I'm sick of being pregnant. I just want this over. I want to go out and get a job. I want this mess to be over. At my last appointment, we measured 39, so it's apparent that his growth has slowed down a bit. I'm disappointed because that means less chance of an early delivery. And my sanity level is constantly dropping, my fuse is getting shorter and shorter with everyone. I feel like I'm about to go over the edge. I feel like I can't hold on to everything anymore. Hell, I feel like I can't hold on to anything anymore. It's even kind of scary. Thinking about how I'm feeling now makes me wonder how I'll feel taking care of a newborn.

Knitting has been... sporadic to say the least. I can't stick with one project. Honestly, I want to cast on about fifteen different things but know that they won't go anywhere if I do. I bought some Caron Simply Soft to make a really pretty sleeveless top. The magazine calls it a tank, I'd say it's more of a vest. You've got to wear some sort of shirt under it because it has big lacy holes in it. Well, I suppose you could go without the shirt under it... if you're into that sort of... erm... exposure...

I'm making hubby an awesome small dice bag. (Update: I was trying out a pattern I found online but the pattern was poorly written and full of mistakes. I ended up just playing with my own ideas after looking at other patterns.) I think it's my first step toward sock knitting. It's made on dpns but is basically just a little tube. Nothing like a heel or any of that. I feel the desire to make socks, but the price of sock yarn is my biggest deterrent. I don't think I'm concerned about the process anymore, or the difficulty (that used to be my biggest deterrent), it's more that I feel the need to get "a lot" for my money when it comes to buying yarn.

I finished Bam's Fingerless Mitts. I didn't even put the into my Ravelry yet. He loves them. He was incredibly impressed that I thought up the pattern myself. Considering how brilliant he is, it felt damn good to have impressed him with my brain power.