Doing...

So I'm doing pretty miserably on my Day Zero project. I'm not blogging, I'm slacking on walking with Bam (which won't matter next week since I'm subbing for him while he's on the tennis team, but still...), I wanted to reorganize my list to the frequency of the goals (daily, weekly, etc.). It just seems like there's not enough time in my day. Maybe I'll make individual lists of the daily, weekly, etc. goals and just have to post them by the door or something. To counteract that whole out of sight, out of mind thing. I do well with visual reminders.

Gotten a couple small knitting projects done in the past few weeks. Tried out Tribbles and made three within a few days. Great for scraps! Finished a hat for Lula, she spent the night at Gramma's and forgot it there, then spent the next few days crying about her hat! She's adorable. I'm trying to make a neckwarmer for a birthday gift. It's getting me all kinds of crazy. I've frogged it three times. I really think the intended recipient will like it so I don't want to give up on making it, and it's just a freakin' rectangle, for @%*^'s sake! I've had issues with ugly pooling, width, and needle size. I've decided to give it one last go and if I fail again, it will be understood that this project and I are not destined to be together. Then I will set fire to the yarn and cackle with glee.

J-Bug is growing like mad! He's in 6-9mo clothes already, and some of those are getting close to being too small. I can't believe it how big he is. He must weigh almost 20lbs by now. But he's looking healthy and he's chubby but not fat, so I'm not concerned.

Cakers is so disappointed that she does not get to go to school yet. I feel so terrible telling her that she's not old enough. She gets this sad look on her face and it just makes my heart ache. I'm going to look into Head Start. She's really smart so I bet she won't qualify for it, but at least I can try, right?

Lula is getting really excited about school starting again. It's so overwhelming for her that she cries every time we talk about it, the poor kid. I hope she makes more progress this year. It's going to get a lot more noticeable to her classmates that she is so far behind. I know some of them were already teasing her last year but I also know that kids get meaner as they get older. I don't know what I can do about it, either. I don't know if there even is anything that can be done. I hate the thought of my little girl being teased. She's so sweet and pure. She doesn't deserve what I know is coming.

Bam, well, is nearly a teenager. And he fits the bill. He's mouthy, he's rude, he's lazy. He doesn't want to do anything he's told. Yeah, he's becoming a teenager. He's not as bad with me so much. He can get really shitty with George on occasion. All he wants to do it play video games, pretty much. As for school starting again, he's basically indifferent. It's like, well, I know it was coming, so whatever. On a happier note, he doesn't have to have surgery on his leg. The doctor said that the plate can stay in forever unless he has to have a hip replacement. Which wouldn't happen until he's (in the words of the doc!) "old and grey". (I thought that was pretty funny, coming from a doctor who's probably around 65 and quite grey himself! LOL) I was more relieved than I thought I would be. I had prepared myself for my baby (haha) boy to go into the hospital to have his leg cut back open. I knew since last summer that he'd have to get that plate out. But when Dr. E called and said that he'd recently learned at a conference that plates (at least that type of plate) won't inhibit growth in kids, so we didn't need to take it out, I was giddy. I probably sounded like a complete loon to the doc. Oh well, I'm still happy that it can stay in!

So that's me for now.

Trying to get up and running...

I'm having a hard time starting my 101 in 1001. I don't even have the list complete. Ugh. Frustrating. I want my goals to be "worthy" of the list. I sometimes even feel that some I already have on the list are cutting it close as it is.


I suppose I'll have to use generic "space-holders" for a while. Didn't really want to. Doing that makes me feel like I'm starting a project without all the necessary equipment to complete it.


Also, I wanted to organize my list a little better, into single time goals, monthly, weekly, daily, etc. categories before I posted it here. I guess that will come later.


But anyhow, da-da-da-da...



My 101 in 1001
Start: Sunday, August 10, 2008 Complete: Sunday, May 8, 2011

1. Document my progress with this list in my blog at least once weekly.
2. Write a list of 100 things that make me happy. (0/100)
3. Blog at least 3 times a week.
4. Complete at least one knitting project a month. (1/33)
5. Apply to at least three jobs per week until I get employment.
6. Make at least two scrapbook pages a month. (0/66)
7. Call Christi once a week.
8. Take a vacation to Las Vegas.
9. Visit my sister and her family in PA.
10. Visit Door County.
11. Take a cooking class WITH G.
12. Get another tattoo.
13. Start savings accounts for: Bam, Lula, Cakers, J-Bug, G/Me.
14. Have a garage sale.
15. Donate what doesn't sell in the garage sale to a women's shelter.
16. Pay off my student loan.
17. Eat at a sit down restaurant all by myself, without reading, talking on the phone, etc.
18. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.
19. Drink at least four 8oz glasses of water every day.
20. Donate 95,000 more grains of rice on freerice.com (for a total of 100,000). (16,500/95,000)
21. Learn at least one new word a week.
22. Walk with Bam on his paper route at least twice a week.
23. Make a house cleaning schedule and follow it.
24. Write a knitting pattern and submit it to a magazine.
25. Plant a tree for each of my children.
26. Have 500 "no-spend" days. (7/500)
27. Motivate someone to do their own 101 things in 1001 days.
28. Create a new list of 101 things to do in next 1001 days.
29. Take pictures in a photo booth at the mall.
30. Do 200 hours volunteering. (0/200)
31. Try 100 new recipes. (2/100)
32. Write and mail at least one 'thinking of you' card each month. (0/33)
33. Put everyone’s birthdays/anniversaries in a calendar and actually start sending cards.
34. Make a family cookbook for both sides of the family.
35. Get my wedding dress cleaned/boxed.
36. Buy new pillows for all beds. (At least as many as there are now.)
37. Make a photography book with at least 100 photos.
38. Upload 1000 more photos to flickr. (10/1000)
39. Get new glasses.
40. Do 5 brutal cleanouts of unnecessary clutter. (0/5)
41. Spend a weekend making 20 meals to freeze.
42. Eat 5 servings of veggies every day for a month.
43. Keep a food diary for 3 months.
44. Follow the Couch-to-5K Running Plan.
45. Take a road trip that involves at least one overnight stop.
46. Go 48 hours without the internet.
47. Dine at three new (to me) local restaurants. (0/3)
48. Sell something on etsy.com.
49. Sell items at a local craft show.
50. Donate $1 to charity for every item not completed.
51. Get certified in CPR/First Aid.
52. Teach someone to knit.
53. Make a sweater for myself.
54. Take a self-portrait once monthly. (0/33)
55. Make first pair of socks.
56. Start my own business.
57. Get rid of storage sheds.
58. Scan all of our print photos and archive them.
59. Write a children's book.
60. Have Lasik surgery.
61. Write 3 letters of thanks for good service. (0/3)
62. Write 3 letters of complaint for bad service. (0/3)
63. Make 5 new female friends.
64. Make friends with 4 new couples.
65. Get contact lenses.
66. Hold a Christmas in July dinner/party.
67. Go to a casino.
68. Ask for 3 songs from five different friends, make a CD, and send a copy to each of them.
69. Make sure my kids are all up-to-date on immunizations and check-ups.
70. Go on a date with G at least every other month.
71. Go on a family outing at least every other month.
72. Buy a vehicle big enough for our six-member family.
73. Have a salad dinner once a week.
74. Have tacos or taco salad once a month. (1/33)
75. Give at least 10 handmade gifts this Christmas.
76. Finish the black circular blanket (!)
77. Label all our DVDs and game discs with our name.
78. Check out the ( ) Area Knitters Guild and decide if I want to join.
79. Make 15 charity projects.
80. Make and follow a one week meal plan at least one week a month. (0/33)
81. Remember to take my pills every day.
82. TBD
83. TBD
84. TBD
85. TBD
86. TBD
87. TBD
88. TBD
89. TBD
90. TBD
91. TBD
92. TBD
93. TBD
94. TBD
95. TBD
96. TBD
97. TBD
98. TBD
99. TBD
100. TBD
101. TBD



So that's my list for Day Zero. Good luck to me and to everyone else out there making an effort to change their lives.



I have several FOs I haven't gotten on here. I've been slacking with this whole "new baby" thing going on. Although it is hard to knit with a squirming baby in your arms... I can do it, I just do it a lot slower than normally.



This one is a terrible picture but the hat is fantastic. I started out making a hat for J-Bug to match his blue sweater I made and it turned out too big. Plus it looked rather feminine. So I gave it to Cakers. On her, it looked like a cloche. Lovely but it kept slipping off. She's too wiggly for that type of hat. So I grabbed the yarn and some smaller needles and added a little over an inch of ribbing. It fits perfectly now and she loves it. All's well that ends well!

And here we have J-Bug's Gooseberry. It's just a bit big, which is what I wanted since it's August and too warm for hats, obviously.

I've got some matching solid blue yarn that I plan to make him some socks from. It will be my first attempt at socks. Eek! I can't help but be nervous. Socks look sooooo hard. I realize they are nothing but knit and purl stitches, just in a special order but that order is... really special. Thank goodness for Ravelry! I know I can go there and get advice if I need it.

My 101 in 1001/Day Zero

I've decided to begin the 101 in 1001 Project. It's a really cool idea someone had that's basically like your New Year's resolutions except instead of giving yourself a year to do them, you take 1001 days, which comes out to roughly 2.75 years, to do them.

Here's the synopsis of it:

The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

I was going to call September 10th my starting date since that's my 30th birthday. But then I thought, Why wait any longer to start? Being the procrastinator I am, I figured it was just a way to give myself a reason to put off doing something.

So. Here I go.

I really am...

Even though it may not seem like it, I really am here for you.

I wish there was more I could do for you than just being available to listen. But I can't help you with childcare for work; I can't help you pay your rent; the best I can do is provide you with an ear and keep you in my heart. I hope that's enough, even if it doesn't feel like it to me.

I love you, Babe, and I know you'll make it through this.

So soon?!

Ha ha! Yes. I am posting again, already! I've got J-Bug balanced on my lap and he's only wiggling a little bit. :-) Poor kid's got the hiccups again.


J-Bug laughed for the first time this morning! It was sooooooooo adorable. I was holding him, letting him look up at the ceiling fan (one of his favorite activities). All of a sudden, he just started cracking up. Completely out of the blue. I wasn't even trying to get him to smile. Something about that fan was hilarious to him, though.



My sister brought me her nursing footstool when they came out for their visit. I love this thing! It's great here at the computer. The couch is too low, though. If I use it there, my knees are nearly up to my chin. Not the best position for feeding a baby.


He's getting so big so fast, too. Last Wednesday he was already up to 12lbs, 13oz! He really doesn't eat all the time but you can't tell from how quickly he's gaining!



I've gotten several projects done lately. My Ravelry notebook is probably the best place to check them out by I'll put at least a little bit about at least some of them here.



Lil Sweater for J-Bug: A sweet, fast knit baby cardigan.




























J-Bug's Hat: This one I made to bring him home from the hospital in. (Modeled on Lula's lovely

baby doll.)




























Ginger's Green Thick-Thin Scarf: I finally got this thing finished!
















Bam's Dice Bag: He chose a stitch pattern from one of my books and I whipped it into a bag.
He ended up choosing, of all things, Feather and Fan. I was sort of hoping for a bit more of a challenge, but I told him to pick whatever one he wanted.
















Cakers's Requested Hat: Cakers asked for a hat, here it is.

















And so the end of my post... J-Bug's getting ticked.

A bit of time

So while the baby is sleeping I've got a bit of time. I've been wanting to do an "About Me List" type post for a while. I couldn't decide how many to do so I asked my hubby for a number between 7 & 20. He chose 8. Here goes...

Eight (or so) Bits of Info About Me:

1. I'm addicted to knitting. I love the hows, the whys, the whats, everything about knitting. I consider myself to still be a newbie knitter. I love collecting yarn, needles, patterns, and any knitting goodies I can get my hands on.

2. I hate looking at myself in any mirror. If I can avoid it, I won't let my picture be taken.

3. I like to get drunk but I'm terribly afraid that I will end up being an alcoholic like my father. Alcoholism runs in my family on both sides, paternal and maternal. In my soul, I feel the potential for that addiction. It's very frightening because I know what it can do to a family.

4. Pepsi is my favorite non-alcoholic drink. Bacardi Light (rum) with Pepsi is my favorite alcoholic drink. Pizza is my favorite food. I think Papa Murphy's Take-N-Bake is the best pizza ever.

5. Purple is my favorite color but I also love pink, white, and black. Strangely enough, most of my yarn is other colors. Blues, greens, reds top the list. I wonder why. ???

6. I don't ever want to be without internet service again. I love my internet, even though I don't get on much anymore and blog even less, I hate the thought of being unable to access it. Ravelry is like crack to me. Yes, that's shallow. But it's true.

7. I want to own a house. A ranch-style with a laundry room on the same floor as the bedrooms, a pool table in the basement, and a kitchen with a big island in the middle of it. I wouldn't mind having a pool in the backyard, either. And a hot tub.

8. I'd rather donate to a charity or organization that helps people in the US.

So that's my Eight Things list. The baby is still sleeping. It was quicker than I expected it to be. I suppose that means it was easier to do than I thought. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Another month has rolled by...

But at least now I'm not pregnant anymore! Hurray! I've got a new son and he's GORGEOUS! He's perfect and sweet and cuddly and mellow and huge. He was 9lbs0oz at birth and 21.5 inches long. Right around what we expected (well, for weight anyhow, length wasn't cause for concern).

My labor was nice and short. I checked into the hospital at 6am, got up to the room at about 6:15. After being monitored for what felt like forever, they came in and started the pitocin drip (it was really only about 7:30 when it got started). Right after the nurse got that started, the anesthesiologist came in and started my epidural. I had this annoying little spot on my left side that I could still feel no matter what he did about the epidural. It wasn't too bad to begin with, just irritating. The spot kept growing, though. My epidural wore off completely just about the time things got intense.

Sorry to all you people who think that giving birth without pain relief is liberating or something like that, but it frigging HURT! I've had four kids and felt no more like a mother after this most recent than the other three.

I also chose to have a tubal ligation. No more bebes for me. Being a mother of four has me maxed out! The surgery was the worst part of it all. I did enjoy the morphine and percoset they gave me afterwards. LOL.

But of course, the little man needs me right now... Can I get back here again in less than a month?

Back After a Month...again.

Well, I'm back for my once a month post. There has been so much going on, it's no wonder I never get on here.

Mother's Day was a wreck. Not for my Mother's Day, but taking the kids to see my mother. My sister happened to show up at the same time. And while that's a really nice thing, it sucked for me and the kids. We brought a little gift, what we could afford, and some muffins and milk for breakfast. She didn't even say thanks. Nor did she tell me Happy Mother's Day. I was so hurt. I understand she was happy to see my sis and all, since she doesn't get to see her very often, but come on! I am the one who spends my little bit of gas money to come up there pretty much every week, often more than once a week. I am the one who brings my kids up to see her. Does my sister? NO. And yet she'd rather see her. Thanks mom, you're the greatest.

Then later in the evening, we went to see G's mom at work. Thought it would be a nice surprise since she had to work on Mother's Day. Ha. She didn't tell me Happy Mother's Day, either. Bitch.

I don't expect a gift. I don't even want one. My children are my Mother's Day gifts. Without them, I wouldn't be a mother. But at least SAY the phrase. I was so hurt by my M and MIL not even saying it. And it isn't as if they forgot what day it was, we were there to give them their gifts!

However, my own personal part of Mother's Day was wonderful. My children kept telling me Happy Mother's Day all day long. It was very sweet. After leaving my mother's, we stopped by G's work and had lunch together. The kids behaved rather well, which is always a nice addition to my day. Then after he was done with work, we hung out at home until we went to see MIL. Dinner was made for me and everything was peaceful and "family-ish".

The weekend of Mother's Day was really tough without the disaster that was M & MIL's Mother's Day. Around the corner from us, on Saturday, there was an apartment fire. We woke up to sirens at 8am. We looked out to see tons of police cars all the way up and down the street. We couldn't figure out what was going on until I opened the front door and saw the smoke. There was so much smoke. It was horrible. After some time, I knew someone had died because one ambulance left very shortly after they arrived and another took their time leaving. They only don't rush when there is no hope. A little while later, we heard a woman outside screaming. She had just come to the scene in a car. Later, we found out she had been at work. The police wouldn't let her closer than almost a block away. My heart was aching for her. I knew it was family of hers.

That evening, we found out just how terrible the news was: A child. A little 7 year old boy. The screaming woman was his mother. I have a 7yo myself. It turns out that this little boy was in my daughter's class last year. I had thought his name was familiar when I read it in the news.

I feel so badly for this family. I wish I could afford to do something for them. They need everything, but most of all, they need money. I can't help there.

In the midst of this sadness, Baby news seems sort of crass, but I'll still put something. We are 37 weeks today. I'm sick of being pregnant. I just want this over. I want to go out and get a job. I want this mess to be over. At my last appointment, we measured 39, so it's apparent that his growth has slowed down a bit. I'm disappointed because that means less chance of an early delivery. And my sanity level is constantly dropping, my fuse is getting shorter and shorter with everyone. I feel like I'm about to go over the edge. I feel like I can't hold on to everything anymore. Hell, I feel like I can't hold on to anything anymore. It's even kind of scary. Thinking about how I'm feeling now makes me wonder how I'll feel taking care of a newborn.

Knitting has been... sporadic to say the least. I can't stick with one project. Honestly, I want to cast on about fifteen different things but know that they won't go anywhere if I do. I bought some Caron Simply Soft to make a really pretty sleeveless top. The magazine calls it a tank, I'd say it's more of a vest. You've got to wear some sort of shirt under it because it has big lacy holes in it. Well, I suppose you could go without the shirt under it... if you're into that sort of... erm... exposure...

I'm making hubby an awesome small dice bag. (Update: I was trying out a pattern I found online but the pattern was poorly written and full of mistakes. I ended up just playing with my own ideas after looking at other patterns.) I think it's my first step toward sock knitting. It's made on dpns but is basically just a little tube. Nothing like a heel or any of that. I feel the desire to make socks, but the price of sock yarn is my biggest deterrent. I don't think I'm concerned about the process anymore, or the difficulty (that used to be my biggest deterrent), it's more that I feel the need to get "a lot" for my money when it comes to buying yarn.

I finished Bam's Fingerless Mitts. I didn't even put the into my Ravelry yet. He loves them. He was incredibly impressed that I thought up the pattern myself. Considering how brilliant he is, it felt damn good to have impressed him with my brain power.

One Month

One month since my last post. Geez. I've been on the computer a ton but not here. Lazy about blogging, I suppose. So many other things to do and look at. (So much Ravelry, so little time...)


Melissa had her baby, Kyle, on the 3rd. He looks just like his daddy. We went and visited them at the hospital the next day. I was planning on giving them the sweater I'd made for him. Unfortunately, the sweater does not want to be finished! The first sleeve is just not coming together right for me. The worst part- it's the same sweater I made for my soon-to-be-born son! That one worked up like a dream, nearly perfect. I was so proud of my first sweater, feeling that since I did it once, I could certainly do it again. Ha! Kyle's sweater has slapped me in the face on that one. But, eh, he's worth it, I'll keep trying. Of course, I told Melissa that if it doesn't start to work for me soon, I'm going to set it on fire and send her the cripsy bits.

Baby update: We are 33 weeks! That means somewhere between 4 and 7 more to go! (I say "between 4 & 7" because of the whole size thing with this giant baby.) At my last appointment (2.5 wks ago), I was still measuring 33cm, but I had to see a different doctor as mine was out of town and this one measured in a different way. I can't believe that in three weeks, we didn't grow any. Especially since I can eat less and less every day and my heartburn gets worse and worse every day! Other than that, not much has changed. I'm scheduled for my next visit on the 22nd. My doctor will be back, thank goodness! I seriously didn't like the other doctor. We'll see how this next one goes.

I'm cruising along with Lula's Angel. It's been a fun knit. The pattern is called "Easiest Ever Knitted Angel doll" and the name is really fitting. I can't imagine an easier dolly to make. What's best about it is that it's a variation of a teddy bear pattern and the designer, Noreen Crone-Findlay, has actually made several versions for different animals and dolls. I'm planning on making Lainey an angel as well and a teddy bear for each of the boys. I can't decide yet if I'm going to make Cakers's in the same colors as Lula's. It's really turning out to be a lovely combination, but I don't want them fighting over them (...any more than they already would...). It will probably turn out to be a different color combo for each of them. I also really like that the pattern calls for whatever yarn and needles you want. The size of the finished item varies with your choices. With Lula's, I'm using three strands of worsted weight and size 11 needles. I plan on making Bam's a bit bigger by going with four strands of worsted or maybe two to three strands of bulky and size 13s. Cakers's will have to be a bit smaller, of course, and Baby's smallest of all.


We've finally got new neighbors downstairs. It's just one younger lady and her baby. Well, I guess her other two kids are with her every other weekend, too. I hope she's not a jerk. I'm thinking she's somewhere close to my age. Maybe she's a knitter... (How cool would that be?!?!?!)

Another Day. :)

The sun is shining, it's starting to get warm. Even thought it's supposed to snow tonight, I'm still feeling pretty good today.

Baby News

So I went to the doctor this morning. At 28.5 weeks, I am measuring out at 33cm! This child is HUGE. In my three previous pregnancies, I've measured out at just the week we were in. I'm telling you, this size thing with this boy is freaking me out. However, I did ask doc at what point does measuring out so much larger than expected become a concern. He told me that if it looks like Baby is still looking really big at about 37 weeks, I'll be sent for an ultrasound to estimate fetal weight. And if he's near 9lbs, we'll go in for induction. I've had an induction before and it was not as terrible as I had been told it would be. I didn't feel that the contractions were any worse than those of my first labor. And there's no comparison to my third because I was brave enough to have an epidural that time. I will not go without an epidural this time.

I considered a homebirth this time around. It has many appealing points. But I've decided I'm too much of a chicken and a wimp to go drug free. Especially if this child keeps growing at this rate!

I've been lazy in my knitting lately. I just can't seem to pick it up! I'm looking into future projects but can't keep at the ones I've got already going. It's not like I have only one thing going. I've got plenty of UFO's at my disposal.

I suppose part of it is being so tired. We just traded the living and computer rooms. That was exhausting and it's not even really done. There's a million things that still need a new home or to be dumpstered. And to top it off, during the switch, the USB cable for the camera got misplaced. I've got knitting updates I wanted to get onto Ravelry that I can't do anything with. It's irritating to check into my notebook and there's no progress showing on anything. And talk to G about where it went? HA! That's helpful. (And I wanted to get a picture of Scarfy (see previous post) on here. Just so everyone could see how lovely Scarfy really is.)

I suppose that since I've got some time right now, I really should get moving on Kyle's sweater.

Poor Scarfy (or) The Scarf No One Wanted

So I made this scarf. I personally think it's beautiful. It's made of four different yarns in different purple and turquoise colorways. But I made it for someone. It wasn't for me. Sure, I could just keep it for myself. But that's not the point.

Well, original recipient (we'll call her "A") has been over to my apartment a few times since I finished poor Scarfy. And has yet to collect the prize. I've pointed Scarfy out to A each time she's been for a visit. (Nudge, nudge, your scarf is still waiting for you.) Now, I'll admit, A's favorite color is green. But I know full well she likes blues, too. Her team coat would look great with Scarfy! A green scarf would clash like vomit on a white bedspread. And yet, Scarfy has never gone home with her. Poor, neglected Scarfy.
After several nudge-nudge's, I decided that, despite A saying she liked Scarfy, perhaps, somehow, mysteriously, she really did not. OK, pride hurt, ego bruised. And then over it. Too bad for A, if she can't appreciate art, well, so be it. Scarfy will have a new master chosen. So we move onto, uh, we'll call her "B".

B has come for a visit before Scarfy's original intended has brushed him off too many times. She has commented on how attractive Scarfy is, how soft Scarfy feels, how nice Scarfy is. Oooo, Scarfy has an admirer! But B is told that Scarfy is someone else's. B shows great disappointment in learning this. AND SAYS THE FOLLOWING: "Well, if A doesn't like/want/love/worship Scarfy, please, send him my way." I file away that little thought and go on with life, anticipating that Scarfy will be taken home A's next visit. And, of course, A's next visit comes and goes and Scarfy sits here, patiently waiting for his ride home.
So the new master for Scarfy is chosen. It will be none other than... da da da... B! On B's next visit, I tell her that A has decided that Scarfy was not made for her. B goes on and on about how A is nuts, anyone in their right mind would love to have Scarfy, A does not deserve Scarfy if she "forgets" to take him home, etc., etc. Yes, I think, Scarfy now has someone who will love him as he deserves! I love him, in my own way, but again, Scarfy was made with the gifting kind of love. And he does not match my coat. I'd look like a colorblind fool wearing Scarfy with my Green Bay Packers coat. I ask B if she would like to take Scarfy to be her own. She shrieks with delight and dances in circles with Scarfy cradled in her arms. (OK, she did shriek with delight but the dancing didn't happen. One can dream that their knitting will someday have such effect on people...) And then the visit ended.

I go about picking up this and that around the apartment. And find... WHAT?!?!?! SCARFY?! No, this can't be happening! Why are you still here? We found you a new loving owner! (Didn't we?) What is going on? Why can't you leave? Is there still a ball of one of your yarns attached to you and the recipients are just waiting for you to be finished and your ends weaved in? No, that's not it, you're all done and ready to move out. Your bags are packed, you've been taken off the lease, you've said your goodbyes. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

I don't get it. What immovable force is keeping Scarfy here? Have I really let go? Am I hiding Scarfy before his masters leave so they must leave him behind? No, Scarfy was sitting on the yarn drawers, right by the front door, each time A left. And Scarfy was on the table when B left. Do I (or does Scarfy?) somehow create a blind spot in A or B's field of vision when they're getting ready to go? I cannot comprehend this. Is this a common occurrence in the knitting universe? I can't imagine someone behaving this way in relation to a knitted gift. A is an excellent crocheter, she knows the time it takes to create something by hand. B, does not do either, but I forgive her that.

What will we do about Scarfy? Poor, lovely, soft Scarfy. How he must feel.

I guess I'm buying a new coat.

My Intelligence Level

It seems it may have dropped. I can't even figure out how to add a picture on a Ravelry post. I feel incredibly stupid. I've read and reread the directions on it, what am I doing wrong?! I blame in on winter. I can't deal with this white shit any longer! It's sucking the life out of me. And, apparently, my brains.

Moving Along...

Ohhhhhhhhhh......... I'm so flipping tired today. This pregnancy is really doing me in! I want to sleep twenty hours a day. Not that I can, there's too much for a mom to do!

I have, however found some help. I was hopping around the net a few days ago, looking for a "Moms with ADD" kind of group or something and came across a link for a site called FlyLady. ( http://www.flylady.net/ ) I am the world's second worst housekeeper. ( I won't say I'm the worst. I know there's worse out there, just read "Dear Margo". A guy wrote in one day saying he has come home from work to find dirty diapers on the floor! http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/20071130/en_dm/margo_howard20071130;_ylt=ApXcJk2rmSFRmm9MtBfOmSb9mc0F .) So at least I know I'm not the worst. So I was pretty excited to find FlyLady. I've gotten all signed up with her Yahoo group and ha
ve started. Rather pleased with myself. It's really nice to know that there are others out there who can't get it all under control (at least some of the time, anyhow).

I'm getting along with #4's sweater. Pretty quickly considering I'm not getting much time to work on it. It will be the first "official" sweater I've made. I've made two vests for the girls but those had no seaming up to do (worked as one piece to underarms, separated for back & 2 fronts, joined at shoulders with three-needle-bind-off). The first was from a pattern and the other I made up as I went along. Anyhow, I'm making progress faster than I thought I would. Here's my swatch:. I chose a nice manly mix of navy blue and medium-dark green for my little guy.

And here's a pic of the beginning rib on the back (I haven't taken pictures since I started, ok?! I'm working on it!): . I'm really a lot further than these pictures show. I'll try to post an update tomorrow!

Small projects

I've finished another dishcloth. I really like these tiny projects. It's easier to put in a few rows of 35 or 40 stitches than one row of 100, 200... And they may be tiny, but I do get a sense of accomplishment with completing one. It's something, at least.

I want to get the black blanket done for Bam and the green & white blanket done for the baby. Doesn't seem like either one is going to happen. It wouldn't be so bad if Cakers ever let me be for ten or fifteen minutes at a time. (Keep dreaming, right?)

And like I said, she won't leave me be & play for a few minutes.

Todays...

I was really hoping that I'd be able to add to this blog every day. And yet, my last entry was over a week ago. It hurt just to think about opening it up and seeing the entry about Edward's. And now I'm back, teary-eyed from seeing that post again. And, of course, I couldn't *not* reread it.

But my days have not been too bad lately. I've been working on a few new dishcloths. I've discovered that I love making them. Talk about (nearly) instant gratification! If I get a couple of hours, even as a few minutes here, a few minutes there, I can have one done. And not just plain garter stitch! I love a stitch pattern called "Knotted Shell". It's sooooooo pretty. And it makes great nubbies for scrubbing with! I've made a skull & crossbones cloth recently. I should post these on my Ravelry but... I need to get some pictures taken and loaded up into this machine. It is just a pain in the butt to try to find that damn USB cable! And every time I try to photo the dishcloths, the picture looks terrible! Any suggestions?

And I'd like to really start writing. Again. There's a brilliant book in there somewhere, I just know it. Or at least a brilliant short story (collection?).

Ugh. There's too much going on here. I can't think.

Tornados... In January?

So the weather in the Midwest here has surprised everyone again. More than one TORNADO yesterday.

I'm informed late last night via an answering machine message from my mother that one of my favorite places in the whole world, Edward's Apple Orchard in/just outside Poplar Grove, IL was hit by one of these tornados. It was heartbreaking to hear.

Their apple barn was hit pretty hard apparently, along with the house of the owners (on the same property). Fortunately, the actual orchard is pretty untouched. The trees seem to have withstood the winds.

I'm 29 and it's making me cry. It's not just a "childhood" thing either. I love to go there with my children. I love to go there for my birthday (in September). We were just there last fall.

It's a beautiful place. I feel like I've grown up alongside it. I remember going there when I was much younger and they had just a few things around. Until yesterday, during season, they had a mini farm zoo with goats you could feed and pet, chickens, pigs, all sorts of farm animals, they had a nifty fence maze (that I never skip going through), wooden "playground" equipment: a train big enough for adults to climb into, a giant boat with more that one level, even a playhouse (I have pictures of my kids in most of these.), horse-drawn carriage rides, pony rides. They had a huge "barn" that was really a "country store" with crafts, homemade treats of all sorts, and apples, apples, APPLES GALORE. Let's just say that the entire place is filled with the scent of FRESH, WARM APPLE DONUTS. In the apple area of the barn, they let you sample many of the different varieties they grow. They usually had live music on the weekends. Outdoor tents with baked potatoes that you can get topped with whatever toppings you wanted. A huge "storage shed" that's really an indoor concession stand and seating. It's an amazing place.

Every time I go, I feel like a kid again. It makes me feel like there's nothing wrong with the world.

Thankfully, the human spirit cannot be broken by a bit of bad weather. I am heartened to hear that the owners have already said they will rebuild and will be open again this coming fall. It won't be the same, of course, but I'm so happy to hear they are not just shutting the doors forever.

Despite the situation, the owners are still aware that it has been their community that has put them on the map. The husband, Ken Hall, is quoted (by the Rockford Register Star) as saying, "We’re more concerned about our neighbors. We don’t want all the attention coming our way because they’re struggling, too". Here these people have lost their livelyhood and had their home ripped apart and they want to make sure their neighbors are helped, too. It's amazing to me, in this day and age of coffee-burn lawsuits, that there really are people out there who do give a crap about others.

Thank you, Ken Hall, for reminding me that even in a person's darkest hour, they can shed light on someone else. I hope I will remember that the next time I have a struggle that I think I cannot bear anymore. And I am very happy that no one was injured. Mrs. Hall was in her office in her home when the tornado hit- that part of the house. I'm selfishly happy to think that they can rebuild without having to be reminded that they lost someone when the damage happened.

My heart and thoughts go out to all the families who have been affected by these storms. I hope you can all recover.

January 7, 2008

New to this. Don't know where to start, what would be interesting.

I suppose an intro would be a... good start.

At 29, I've got three kiddos, and one more on the way:
My oldest, Brandon, is 12. Yes, that means I was 17 when he was born. (And barely 17. I'd just turned that about three weeks before he was born.) And he's brilliant. He's smarter than most kids his age and is a year ahead in school. I'm not just a bragging mom, he really is that smart. He sometimes makes me feel like an idiot or a drooling baboon. He just thinks he needs to be perfect. He dotes on his sisters, too.
My next, Lillian (Lily), is 7 and she is an angel. She's severely developmentally delayed and has epilepsy. She looks like any "normal" girl her age, plays like them, feeds herself, nearly everything; she just doesn't learn as quickly as the rest and has a seizure once in a while. She's not in diapers, she doesn't need a bib, she doesn't eat pureed food. She loves everyone, and she'll hug you if you let her.
My third, and current youngest, Elaine (Lainey), is nearly 2. And a beast. She has so much energy! She is so smart it's scary sometimes. I love to watch her learning processes. She's so very different from the other two. I realize that all kids are different from each other, but she's been a huge shock for me. She's developing so... normally. She's at the front of the "expected" development charts or ideals or whatever they call them now.
The fourth, ?, is due to arrive sometime in early June. I expect this will turn out to be more like middle June. All three previous were a minimum of five days late. Brandon was a full 2 weeks late (yes, I was ready to die by then!), I was induced at 1 week late with Lily {when it seemed there was no end in sight again, however, the nonstress test said it was time}, and Lainey made her entrance into the world five days after she was supposed to be here. So again, with a due date of June 8th, I'm guessing at least the 13th. Taking bets, anyone?

I've been married to a wonderful guy, George, since 2004. He's Lainey & #4's biological father but not Brandon & Lily's. Not that biology counts, at least in this case. He's most definitely their dad. And he's one of the few who really doesn't care that he's not blood to the two of them. If he and I were ever to get divorced, he'd fight for rights to them as hard as he could. Of course, I wouldn't agree to the divorce. I love him too much. He's been my rock ever since I met him. Even when we were just friends. I owe him more than he'll ever know.

Yeah, I suppose that's all I'm going to go with for now. Tomorrow I think I might actually talk about me. That's what this is for, anyhow. To make something in my life about me. I know, I know: that sounds really selfish. However, in real life, I spend my days and nights caring for the aforementioned five. I can dedicate my blog to me me me. It'll be our little secret, ok?